Are you listening?
When was the last time you legitimately flirted with your wife or significant other?
I mean flirted, not just been a horn-dog saying shit you think is sexy?
Chances are it happened before you said, “I do” or made some other form of lasting commitment.
Now, you find yourself fulfilling that frequent ego stroke <read, “human need”> we all have, by flirting with other people, although you really do love the one you’re with.
But, the spark, just isn’t there…
For at least one of you…
…or both of you.
Life has quickly, and surely, gotten in the way and no one wants to live without the fiery light of flirtatious fun.
It makes us feel good about ourselves which makes us feel good about each other.
So, Now What?
Before you jeopardize your relationship with the person you genuinely love [you know, by crossing that line into adultery?], think about this…
If your woman was red-hot for you…right now, would you want her right now too?
Of course you would! Hell you probably wouldn’t even make it to the bedroom.
Desire and attraction creates reciprocal desire and attraction, if and when the chemistry is right. And, let’s be realistic, we wouldn’t be talking about this unless the chemistry was right, that’s why you’re together in the first place.
Well then, what if I told you I could help make her hot for you all over again?
I can, but you have to keep an open mind and a closed zipper first.
It’s For Real
Most people – especially women, need to be wooed sexually. The truth is, and I think it’s supposed to be some kind of secret, but…men like it too; the wooing.
It’s the anticipatory factor that grows real desire; anticipation is the seed that will keep her wanting you throughout the day; the seed that can make her come home and want to be near you.
You know, like physically?
The following things will sound simple, because they are, but sometimes we get so distracted and caught-up by life – you know, that other 4-letter word [and its many nuances], that we begin neglecting the little things that keep a sexual relationship alive.
Now that I have your attention, here are 9 tips to make help her naughty – for YOU, once again.
1. Sexy Sweet Nothings
Please tell me you do know the difference between saying something enticing and sexy versus something rank and piggish? I know you do, so then, why do you convert to the piggish after the honeymoon period is over? Or, before?
If you tell your lover that you, “can’t wait to come home” to them, instead of complaining about not getting any nookie or the state of the laundry, you’ll get way more traction.
…it’s a seed, plant it.
She will be wondering what that means all day long and that alone will begin the anticipation process.
2. 60-Second Snuggle
Bear with me on this one. Whether you like to snuggle or not, she does and the best time to make an impact with snuggling is in the morning before you get out of bed.
This doesn’t mean start groping her and pushing your morning-wood into her back or belly, it means to genuinely stop everything for 60-seconds and just hold one another quietly.
Mornings set the pace [and the attitude] for the day and can often be rushed or chaotic; we can also unintentionally get snappy when we are running late or can’t find something.
By stopping to wake slowly together and just connect in those first 60-seconds, you help establish a foundation of unity at the start of your day and you will be planting a seed whose return might surprise you at bed time.
If a woman doesn’t feel connected to you, chances are, she isn’t going to want to get naked with you either.
I’m just saying.
3. Reverse Routines
If it at all possible, surprise her by reversing your morning or evening household routine together. If she is generally the one making coffee, packing lunches, making dinner, etc., take the reins, get up a little earlier or come home earlier than usual and do it for her instead.
I am not suggesting you do this all of the time so she begins to expect it, just sometimes so it’s a welcome surprise to her. Of course, this suggestion is null and void if you already have a chore arraignment together, but if you do this, she will be appreciative all day, which means she will be thinking about you with a smile.
It’s another positive seed, plant it.
4. Rethink/Adjust Your Hobby/Play Time
While I am not suggesting you give-up your fun stuff, I am suggesting you take a good hard look at how much time, effort and money is involved in your personal activities; including how much time it takes away from home and one another.
If the time involved in your “boys night out”, RC car hobby, online gaming, or other activity accumulates into more time, effort and money a month then the real physical hours you and your significant other spend together, adjust and accommodate your relationship.
Nurturing your relationship involves time; time together as well as time apart, but when more time is spent apart than together you will be planting the wrong seeds, learn how to better tend your garden so that you may reap the harvest.
5. NON-Sexual Touches
Do you kiss your wife goodbye before leaving the house? Do you hug her when you come home at the end of the day? Do you absently touch her hand, shoulder, or back throughout the day? Do you hold her at night?
There is much to be said about non-sexual touching. Unfortunately, it must all be stored somewhere in a language that many men simply don’t understand.
After time, many couples rarely touch each other unless they are having sex. Not only does reassuring physical contact reinforce your connection to each other, it also helps maintain the, “us against the world” cementation. It can also increase the feel-good emotions you have for one another.
You are a unit and if you cultivate the seeds of unity, your casual and loving touch could easily and quickly grow into a more frequent sexually charged session…if you let it.
6. Compliments: Not Platitudes or Attitudes
Do you comment on your wife’s looks? How so?
Are your comments more inclined to include the mention of her lack of make-up or hair-styling? Does it make you insane that she has the same sweats on when you get home that she had on when you left?
Do you comment on her general sexiness? Do you even still see the sexiness you once saw?
Do your compliments only come when you are feeling randy and seeking sex from her? Or, do you find ways to compliment her in ways that make her feel good about herself and your relationship versus those that make her feel less of a woman or somehow insufficiently sexy?
You fell in love with this woman; you married her and committed to spending your life with her. She was sexy to you once and can be sexy to you again if you stop looking for flaws and excuses in her and instead, begin addressing your own failings in relationship-building.
There will always be something positive you can say to the woman you love versus something negative or demeaning. The key is to be truthful and genuine and deliver with intentions of goodness.
7. Let Her Know You’re Thinking About Her (non-sexually)
Throughout your day, make it a point to let your lady know she’s on your mind. Maybe it’s the way the light hit her face while she was getting the kids out of the door in the morning; maybe it was how her hair smelled when you hugged her goodbye; maybe it was the sound of her giggling with the kids over a silly bedtime story….whatever it is, if it is kind, loving, complimentary and genuine, tell her.
Just saying the words out loud will make YOU feel closer, imagine how it will make her feel?
If she knows you are thinking about her all day she in turn will begin thinking about you all day. Those there are heirloom seeds, that when planted, can strengthen your relationship and ignite desire in a big way.
When a woman knows a man is thinking about her in positive ways, and she is not feeling or being pressured for anything, she will relax and become a little more like, “her old self”, you know, the one you so desperately want wiggling in your bed again.
8. Let Her Know She Still Turns You On
Believe it or not, just as much as you question her apparent waning desire for you, she too has questions about yours for her [especially if she has had children or any other body altering circumstances]. Women can easily and quickly come to emotionally devastating conclusions. Women want and need to feel wanted…
…yes in that way.
But they need to feel you want them — not because they’re handy, or your wife and have an obligation, but instead, because you truly desire them.
9. And, When All Else Fails…
Truth is always the best policy, even if somewhere along the way you think you have discovered differently.
The problem with truth is not the truth itself, but in the delivery of that truth.
Delivery means everything when it comes to reception and if you want a positive response – let alone any sex at any point, you better learn all about presentation.
When life interjects its demands, sometimes other demands are easier to designate as “more important” however, when it comes to making a marriage or long-term relationship last — with fidelity, sexual arousal, and desire you have to do the work.
You’re sexy and you know it…so does she, but you need to give her a reason to show you how much she thinks so…again.