Are you listening?
Nightmares come in many forms. Sometimes a nightmare — when reflected on upon waking, makes zero sense as to why it is scary. This is the case with a recurring dream I have had for about eight years. I call this dream “Steel Walls and Rivets” and I had it again last night.
Some may feel it is a blessing of sorts, but I suffer from recurring dreams. Notice I chose to use the word “suffer”? Nearly every recurring dream I have ever had has turned out to be precognitive in nature. Almost always these are omens or warnings of bad things to come, in one way or another.
I am a pretty intuitive person. Myself and my family have learned to heed these dreams. The problem is they are so vague it is nearly impossible to pin-point exactly what it is I am seeing until an event has occurred and then it is beyond crystal clear.
Let me give an example before I tell you about “Steel Walls and Rivets”.
In late December of 2004 I began having a dream. In this dream…
I was in a large “manor house” and I wanted to leave. Badly. I don’t know why. There was no one trying to kill me or anything, but I had to get out. So, I tried to go out the front, but when I reached the edge of the “lush landscape” I could get no further than the very tall “wrought iron gate” which was locked to me. It was raining. I go around to the back of the house to see if I can leave that way, but as I turn the corner I am confronted with very large boats or “ships strewn across the grounds” — one of which is standing-up bow to stern leaning against the “manor house”. As my eyes follow this site upward I notice the sky. It is a “weird iridescent color, pulsing and swirling sky”. I am terrified. I know I am in extreme danger.
And then…I wake-up. That’s it. That is all there is to it…except that I started having the dream every week or so for months; then a few times a week until August of 2005 when I began dreaming it nightly.
I drove my husband (now ex) nuts. I drove my kids nuts. I drove co-workers nuts. I couldn’t stop talking about the dream because it wouldn’t go away. I had been posting about my dream on the Randi Rhodes forums for many months because the dream was driving me nuts.
It was a hot political time on the heels of 9/11. Our country was (and still is) at war. Terrorism was the talk of the town and around this time there was a lot of fear of a “dirty bomb” being driven into us. I started thinking that maybe I was having a precognitive dream about a “dirty-bomb” attack and that was why the sky in my dream was so ominous and weird-looking.
Every time the dream was exactly the same. Not a single difference that I could tell – not visually, nor in my movements within it. And always the feeling of fear was intensified at the end when I see the sky right before I’d wake-up.
On August 29, 2005 Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, Louisiana. I never had the dream again.
Think about it…”manor house”…”tall wrought iron gate”…”lush landscape”…”ships strewn across the grounds”…”weird iridescent color, pulsing and swirling sky”…
Obviously in hindsight I was dreaming about Hurricane Katrina. But, as you can see, I wasn’t given enough information to know what I was seeing/fearing in order to do anything with it. Which brings me to “Steel Walls and Rivets”.
In this dream — which I only have once or twice a month (and have had for years)…
I am standing on a sidewalk or deck or dock. I cannot look in any direction except directly in front of me (I do not know why) so it is hard to tell exactly what I am standing on. In front of me at exactly arms length is a “steel wall”. The “steel wall” has very large “rivets” the size of my spread-out hand. I know this because I reach out and put my hand over one. The steel is ice-cold. It is the color of unpainted metal. I cannot see anything else. Just the “Steel wall and rivets” in front of me, but I feel like I am surrounded by them. I feel like they are easily at least 50-feet tall. I am terrified. I have the distinct feeling I am not supposed to be here. I am not supposed to be seeing what I’m seeing. I feel like “people” are going to discover my presence at any moment, but I feel like I have to be there…
And then…I wake-up.
Because I have been having this particular dream for many years I have tried to figure it out often. Are the “steel walls and rivets” the side of a military ship? The side of an airport hanger? The footings of a large bridge? I have no idea. I have scoured many images over the years trying to find “it”. All of the things I mention are possibilities. I also found a bank in France that’s structure is similar.
You can see my dilemma right? Again there is not enough information to do anything about whatever it is that is going to happen nor can I even decipher what it is, where it is, or who it will affect. All I do know is that it will be a big event (they always are) and I know when the frequency of the dream increases we will be closer to it’s happening. I also know that when whatever it is that is going to happen happens, the dream will finally go away.
I wrote a poem years ago that I have in the poetry pages of my site…it’s called “The Nightmare”. I wrote it as a result of my dreams.
Morning comes peeking beneath my eyes with bitterness,
sharp and cold.
Tight chested reminders echo,
“Beware, the night is never gone.”
A sadness hangover of puffy eyes
muffled by the dawning of light.
I awaken choking, gagging
spitting on this new day.
The hand of the Sandman, my captor, will drag me unwilling,
humbled, through the ticktock of time
’til once again I am in darkness
where nightmares come on tippy-toes
to sneak and creak into my mind.