Steel Walls and Rivets

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Nightmares come in many forms. Sometimes a nightmare — when reflected on upon waking, makes zero sense as to why it is scary. This is the case with a recurring dream I have had for about eight years. I call this dream “Steel Walls and Rivets” and I had it again last night.

Some may feel it is a blessing of sorts, but I suffer from recurring dreams. Notice I chose to use the word “suffer”? Nearly every recurring dream I have ever had has turned out to be precognitive in nature. Almost always these are omens or warnings of bad things to come, in one way or another.

I am a pretty intuitive person. Myself and my family have learned to heed these dreams. The problem is they are so vague it is nearly impossible to pin-point exactly what it is I am seeing until an event has occurred and then it is beyond crystal clear.

Let me give an example before I tell you about “Steel Walls and Rivets”.

In late December of 2004 I began having a dream. In this dream…

I was in a large “manor house” and I wanted to leave. Badly. I don’t know why. There was no one trying to kill me or anything, but I had to get out. So, I tried to go out the front, but when I reached the edge of the “lush landscape” I could get no further than the very tall “wrought iron gate” which was locked to me. It was raining. I go around to the back of the house to see if I can leave that way, but as I turn the corner I am confronted with very large boats or “ships strewn across the grounds” — one of which is standing-up bow to stern leaning against the “manor house”. As my eyes follow this site upward I notice the sky. It is a “weird iridescent color, pulsing and swirling sky”. I am terrified. I know I am in extreme danger.

And then…I wake-up. That’s it. That is all there is to it…except that I started having the dream every week or so for months; then a few times a week until August of 2005 when I began dreaming it nightly.

I drove my husband (now ex) nuts. I drove my kids nuts. I drove co-workers nuts. I couldn’t stop talking about the dream because it wouldn’t go away. I had been posting about my dream on the Randi Rhodes forums for many months because the dream was driving me nuts.

It was a hot political time on the heels of 9/11. Our country was (and still is) at war. Terrorism was the talk of the town and around this time there was a lot of fear of a “dirty bomb” being driven into us. I started thinking that maybe I was having a precognitive dream about a “dirty-bomb” attack and that was why the sky in my dream was so ominous and weird-looking.

Every time the dream was exactly the same. Not a single difference that I could tell – not visually, nor in my movements within it. And always the feeling of fear was intensified at the end when I see the sky right before I’d wake-up.

On August 29, 2005 Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, Louisiana. I never had the dream again.

Think about it…”manor house”…”tall wrought iron gate”…”lush landscape”…”ships strewn across the grounds”…”weird iridescent color, pulsing and swirling sky”…

Obviously in hindsight I was dreaming about Hurricane Katrina. But, as you can see, I wasn’t given enough information to know what I was seeing/fearing in order to do anything with it. Which brings me to “Steel Walls and Rivets”.

In this dream — which I only have once or twice a month (and have had for years)…

I am standing on a sidewalk or deck or dock. I cannot look in any direction except directly in front of me (I do not know why) so it is hard to tell exactly what I am standing on. In front of me at exactly arms length is a “steel wall”. The “steel wall” has very large “rivets” the size of my spread-out hand. I know this because I reach out and put my hand over one. The steel is ice-cold. It is the color of unpainted metal. I cannot see anything else. Just the “Steel wall and rivets” in front of me, but I feel like I am surrounded by them. I feel like they are easily at least 50-feet tall. I am terrified. I have the distinct feeling I am not supposed to be here. I am not supposed to be seeing what I’m seeing. I feel like “people” are going to discover my presence at any moment, but I feel like I have to be there…

And then…I wake-up.

Because I have been having this particular dream for many years I have tried to figure it out often. Are the “steel walls and rivets” the side of a military ship? The side of an airport hanger? The footings of a large bridge? I have no idea. I have scoured many images over the years trying to find “it”. All of the things I mention are possibilities. I also found a bank in France that’s structure is similar.

You can see my dilemma right? Again there is not enough information to do anything about whatever it is that is going to happen nor can I even decipher what it is, where it is, or who it will affect. All I do know is that it will be a big event (they always are) and I know when the frequency of the dream increases we will be closer to it’s happening. I also know that when whatever it is that is going to happen happens, the dream will finally go away.

I wrote a poem years ago that I have in the poetry pages of my site…it’s called “The Nightmare”. I wrote it as a result of my dreams.

The Nightmare

Morning comes peeking beneath my eyes with bitterness,
sharp and cold.
Tight chested reminders echo,
“Beware, the night is never gone.”
A sadness hangover of puffy eyes
deflated dreams
unheard screams
muffled by the dawning of light.
I awaken choking, gagging
spitting on this new day.
The hand of the Sandman, my captor, will drag me unwilling,
humbled, through the ticktock of time
’til once again I am in darkness
where nightmares come on tippy-toes
to sneak and creak into my mind.

27 comments on “Steel Walls and Rivets”

sha'tashari
February 19, 2013

I like what you wrote it was interesting. However, as I saw it the hurricane made landfall at Gulfport Mississippi; it didn’t hit New Orleans which only took damage from the flooding of too much rain and a failure to maintain the pumps.

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- C. R.
  February 19, 2013
  
  Thank you very much. Yes you are correct, however the devastation and angst and death we saw/heard over and over for weeks was in relation to New Orleans.
  
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Jueseppi B.
February 19, 2013

You’ve been awarded The Most Influential Blog Award for 2013. All you have to do is “Pay The Award Forward’.

Paying Forward The Most Influential Blog Award

http://theobamacrat.com/2013/02/19/paying-forward-the-2013-most-influential-blogs/

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DaydreamsinWonderland
February 19, 2013

What an awesome post! I used to have a few recurring nightmares myself. You should go visit SofiaSiberia.com. She’s the expert on this. You’ll find some hidden gems (excellent posts on similar topics) in her archives.

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- C. R.
  February 19, 2013
  
  Thank you very much! I will bookmark that so I can go spend some time there when I am done with my current project.
  
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  - DaydreamsinWonderland
    February 19, 2013
    
    You’re quite welcome. 🙂
    
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Jim Arnold
February 20, 2013

I thought of your blog this morning after I awoke from an amazing
dream. The dream was like watching a Shakespearean play, but I’ve
forgotten all the details except the scene that was happening when I was
awakened by a phone call. One man stepped into a dungeon cell and dropped
a pouch of coins next to the prisoner. The prisoner asked him why we was
doing it (evidently bailing him out) and the man replied “I need a license
to become a priest before The East attacks.” Evidently, somehow the
prisoner had the power to grant objector status….

My takeaway from the dream isn’t that it means something, and that
particular scene is memorable only because it was playing when I woke up.
My point is dreams can be so fantastically creative: actually creating
images and dramas — it’s beyond amazing when you think about how it’s
even possible. I even googled that quote to see if maybe it was part of a
drama I’d seen, but no, I’m convinced my subconscious created it.

So regarding your nightmares, Cheri: I hope you can free yourself from
that dream-maker (whatever it is) that torments you with information you
can do nothing with, and unlock your higher self, and enjoy wonderful
creative dreams instead. A person as creative as you has such potential!

I’d have a talk with myself every night before sleep, something like: Hey
you, whereever you are! Stop f*cking with me! Give me dreams of music and
wondrous, uplifting dramas and comedies! You’re pissing me off! Become my
delightful muse or I’m gonna start taking pills and ignore you
alltogether!

Say it and mean it. They’re YOUR dreams! You deserve better!

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- Jim Arnold
  February 20, 2013
  
  Sorry about the formatting — I had to log in to send, so I pasted to a text file, then back to the reply…
  
  Consider it poetic styling!
  
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  - C. R.
    February 20, 2013
    
    No worries on the formatting 🙂
    I do — or am able to control most of my dreams. I am quite proficient at lucid dreaming. The recurring ones are another story 😉
    
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georgefloreswrite
February 20, 2013

Cool dreams to hear about, probably not to experience nightly. If you focus on far away objects or horizons, you can move more easily in dreams and escape paralyzing positions. If that doesn’t work – prayer or repeating the name of your deity will help break the hold. Good luck!
I came over here on Rarasaurus’ recommendation 🙂

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- C. R.
  February 20, 2013
  
  love me some Rarasaur! Thanks for stoppin’ in and thank you Rara! Yes I can do lucid dreaming, just not with the recurring ones
  
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  - georgefloreswrite
    February 20, 2013
    
    Then you are probably right that it is vision instead of dreaming. Interesting.
    
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  - C. R.
    February 20, 2013
    
    Interesting maybe, disturbing for sure. They make me a lil nuts sometimes :p
    
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  - georgefloreswrite
    February 20, 2013
    
    Don’t blame you. It just occurred to me that it could be one of those things that house missiles.
    My book is going to be published soon, would you mind getting a free copy and reviewing it? I’d like to get fellow dreamers thoughts on it.
    
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  - C. R.
    February 20, 2013
    
    Sure!
    
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  - georgefloreswrite
    February 20, 2013
    
    Awesome – I’ll let you know when it’s ready – should be a few months 🙂
    
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  - C. R.
    February 20, 2013
    
    sounds good!
    
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VictoriaJoDean
February 20, 2013

Beautifully written, Cheri, as it drew me into the dream and what you felt there. Again, I’m impressed with your proficiency and professionalism of your blogs and your site. Good job!

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- C. R.
  February 20, 2013
  
  Thank you once again. You are GREAT for my ego :p
  Question…you said “blogs” and site”…what else are you looking at??
  
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Corner of Confessions
February 21, 2013

What an intense premonition dream. I used to have the worst nightmares, but couldn’t remember them as soon as I opened my eyes. I worked on lucid dreaming but just never remembered them when I opened my eyes and the only thing that stuck was the bad feelings. I did some cleansing of my room and other superstitious things ( burned sage ) and my nightmares stopped.

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- C. R.
  February 21, 2013
  
  I am glad your nightmares stopped. I have actually participated in a couple of sleep studies.
  
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