Cheri Speak

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Our Cheating Hearts


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Did You Know?

Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 – Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy).

Wow! Pretty high numbers, but I would bet the numbers are actually higher. How many people were honest when it really came down to it?

According to the Associated Press (AP):

90% percent of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong.”


61% of Americans thought adultery should not be a crime in the United States.”


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Cheating comes in many forms, but the increase and near acceptance of on-line affairs is astounding. – a website devoted to helping couples manage the rough waters after an affair, says,

In order to understand the increased incidence of Internet infidelity, researches have examined three key components that comprise the chemistry of an Internet affair – anonymity, convenience, and escape. What starts off as a simple email exchange or an innocent chat room encounter can quickly escalate into an intense and passionate Internet affair, often leading to secret phone calls and orchestrated real life encounters. The more communication that occurs, it has been shown, the more likely there is for an actual real life encounter.”


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Completely unrelated to participating in an open, Poly amorous or otherwise alternative arraignment, some men <read: husbands> are actually asking if cheating helps marriages. Sure cheating helps marriages! Cheating helps marriages fall apart.

According to DivorceMag,

Only 46% of men believe that online affairs are adultery.”

In This Is An Internet E-Mergency, The Fortino Group says,

One-third of divorce litigation is caused by online affairs.”

And in After the Affair, as reported by the Washington Post Janis Abrahms Spring adds that,

40 percent of affairs last two or more years.”


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I am a firm believer that any interest in a member of the opposite sex outside of your marriage is cheating. I believe that these “innocent” relationships will become anything but.

Male female attraction is a fierce thing.  Desire can eat away even the strongest of foundations.

Further Statistics Show How Strong the Sexual Tug Is

  • 57% of people have used the Internet to flirt
  • 50% of people have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online
  • 38% of people have engaged in explicit online sexual conversation
  • 31% of people have had an online conversation that has led to real-time sex

Evidence proves there is a high correlation between on-line infidelity and subsequent real-time sexual affairs.

WTF? Are We Just Horny or What?

Love consists of overestimating the differences between one woman and another.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Or man.

TED Talk about maintaining desire in relationships

Barry Schwartz: The Paradox of Choice

9 comments on “Our Cheating Hearts

  1. Jueseppi B.
    March 18, 2013

    Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat.Com™ and commented:
    Ya’ll are ALL now busted ….Thank you Ms. Cheri.


  2. No woman should do this to a married man/any man … If .. she want’s to share the man with another … It is a common etiquette that every woman should know … Whether she’s single or married … You should never trap a man … but … You can make yourself irresistible to a man … by .. making him completely be in love with you … It is as simple as that …


  3. When you truly love someone who makes you happy … Up to a point that you are needing he/she daily … Or … You can’t get your mind off of he/she day/night … Thence … You should know you are in love … Joy and Happiness is all that really matters in life … You can only feel it in your heart because happiness comes from within … It is the only thing that money can’t buy … You have got to have the connection only … That is a fact …


  4. georgefloreswrite
    March 19, 2013

    I don’t understand the desire personally because I’m single and haven’t taken a vow to remain with someone for the rest of my life. “61% of Americans thought adultery should not be a crime in the United States.” – this quote makes me uncomfortable because the variable of imposing criminal penalties makes it too unstable. People might be against it or for it for too many reasons that have nothing with believing adultery is wrong or not.


  5. diannegray
    March 19, 2013

    Hubby said to me once that women seemed to take notice of him and flirt when he is wearing his wedding ring – wtf!!!???

    I so agree with you regarding ‘already being there’ if you’re deleting messages. Cheating (to me) starts with just ‘thinking’ of someone else. It’s all in the heart…


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