The Last Leaf
Image Source: hellogorgeousblog.com
I love autumn. It’s my favorite of the four seasons, but it is also the time of year I tend to struggle the hardest, emotionally.
In general, I try not to dwell [too much] on those things that bring me down, but as the weather changes and I wrap myself in cardigans to fend off the chill — in lieu of the warmth of comforting arms, I cannot help but be reminded of cold beds and silent houses. I cannot help, but be reminded, I am alone.
I have loved and I have lost…
Most days, the knowledge that I have loved [and been loved in return] is enough to get me over the hump of any growing depression. But, there are other days where that same knowledge pushes me right over the edge in angst and heartache leaving me unable to look at the love that I had, or will have. Instead I can only look back at the path of the love I have lost.
In this season of falling leaves, I pine over those needles that still pierce my heart. I become the last leaf, barely hanging on as the world around me swirls and sways.
“Last Leaf” by, OK Go
If you should be the last autumn leaf hanging from the tree
I’ll still be here waiting on the breeze to bring you down to me
And if it takes forever, forever it’ll be
And if it takes forever, forever it’ll be
And if you should be the last seed in spring to venture forth a leaf
I’ll still be here waiting on the rain to warm your heart for me
And if it takes forever, forever it’ll be
And if it takes forever, forever it’ll be
P.S. I still love you…
DAY #16 OF NaBloPoMo, BlogHer, and NanoPoblano …
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Cheri Speak 
Something must be in the air, or maybe it’s the constant blogging that is bringing this out in everybody. Like you and Jen & Tonic, I also recently wrote about my ex in the post “proof.” Thanks for the links.
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Something IS in the air, Kylie. Like Cheri said, this time of season seems to push a lot of our emotions to the surface. I like to think it’s because everything around us is dying. I love winter because it feels like a time when the world sheds itself, and makes way for the life of Spring. Maybe we’re all in Winter mode, just waiting for Spring to arrive.
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That could be it Jen. It could also because the holiday’s are coming and for me, that is daunting when you have no one to share them with.
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Ah, yes. The holidays are a hard time for a lot of single people. I just focus on eating and presents, and that seems to get me through 😉
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Oooh, you got me presents? Goodie! :p
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It’s a time of change and letting go. Fall marks the turn of the year more than any other season for me. It could also just be that it’s birthday season…
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My mother turns 5 on Nov. 27. The same day my father died six years ago. I’m trying not to think about that right now. November is a really hard month for me.
Hugs to you.
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Hugs right backatchya!!
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Your post reminded me of this song. Thought I would share it with you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miOEmyjpLkU Good luck to you in everything that you do.
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Oh WOW!! I love this song. It will go in my “favorites” Thank you so much for taking the time to think of me after reading.
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No problem. I’m glad you liked the song. I had to actually go listen to it after I read your blog. 🙂
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Well then, that means I made YOU feel something 😉
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Absolutely! 🙂
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Then I did my job 🙂 … thank you.
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This was wonderful, had to share it with my daughter, and watch it a few times. Sad and hopeful; like fall.
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Thanks, yes that is how it felt to me as well. I hope your daughter liked it too! Thank you for popping over and taking a peek!
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Tis the season for being inside and being contemplative. And everyone (for the most part, I think) wants the comfort of companionship. The mood reflects the season, everything stripped bare to it’s essentials, and therefore, exposed. Wonderful post, and know you’re not alone..*hug*
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What a really great comment Phaery. So true and so appreciated, along with the hug.
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Cheri, I’m sure you are also aware that some of the loneliest people in the world are either married or in a relationship. It’s not just the single ones, like us, who are suffering from the malady of feeling alone.
Although we don’t have autumn here, I think it is the most beautiful season of them all.
Warmest Regards.
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I agree it is the most beautiful season. I was married for over 20 years, I spent most of those years lonly too…just a different kind of lonely. I miss the mundane. Sex is nothing compared to a hug or a squeeze of the shoulder..
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I agree. That part I miss, too; The hugs, tender kisses, and the feeling of being truly loved and cared for. -sigh-
How I wish…
🙂
Lovely writing, by the way.
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Thank you very much. I was trying to explain this thought earlier, the one about sex vs the cheek caress….when i was married and had kids at home there were snuggles and hugs and pats of the back etc etc, now, no husband, kids groan and gone and there are no of those things any longer…for some that may be ok, but I guess I am just a cuddly physical person.
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