Is this mic on?
Songs about cheating can mean a lot of things because it depends on whether the singer is telling a story about cheating on their spouse, their spouse cheating on them or even from the perspective of a single person having an affair with a married person and vice versa.
Most people — especially those that are married, will tell you cheating is bad [because it is], but there are still songs that show us heart-wrenching views of a side we wouldn’t otherwise be open to seeing. A song can make us think and feel that a secret relationship can sometimes, be OK.
If you doubt my statement, then explain to me how songs like Barry White’s, “Kiss and Say Goodbye” and Billy Paul’s, “Me and Mrs. Jones” where not only big hits in their day, but to this day are still favorites of many?
I write about cheating, dating and being single all of the time. In fact I have a whole other blog devoted to being single. Hell, I even wrote, “6 Ways to Flirt With Your Wife Instead of Me” to try to help married guys NOT cheat.
Married men love me. I am not sure why. I avoid them like the plague, but there was one married man who I loved in return for almost two decades.
I’m not proud of the end result, but I’m also not ashamed of what was a love like no other. I didn’t set out to do it and to be fair, the relationship began before there was a “wife”. I should write our story someday, maybe. This mention here, is the first time I’ve publicly spoken about it and as horrible as you may now think that I am, it’s a beautiful love story…even if only to me.
It wasn’t sordid. It was never mean, hurtful or spiteful.
I wish I could say it wasn’t painful, but that would be the biggest lie of all.
In choosing this weeks Twisted Mix I chose songs that tell stories that I have actually lived. Hate me if you have too, but yes I was once, “the other woman”. In my heart, when it comes to this man, I think I will always be.
Stay – Sugarland
Every lyric of this song felt violently ripped from my heart. The timing of it’s entry on the music scene couldn’t have been more perfect for my life at that moment.
It’s been a few years, but the pain is as raw as it’s ever been when I listen to this…
I’ve Got to See You Again – Norah Jones
Some may think this song is merely about the irrational desire to see someone again, but if you listen to the lyrics, the man in question appears to be married or otherwise attached. I could be wrong, but I remember when I first heard this song it became an anthem to me.
Say Goodbye – Dave Mathews Band
I don’t care what you
think say, this is one of the sexiest songs of impossible angst ever. I feel every note of this song.
When I first heard this it was towards the beginning of the relationship. I remember specifically that I was soaking in the tub listening to my newly purchased Dave Mathews CD with a little candle light and wine. My husband (yes I was married) and the kids could vaguely be heard in the other room…
The CD played, I was relaxed. I was thinking about him and then this song came on. And I cried.
Then I listened again.
And I cried some more.
It was right. Every word of it.
Accidental Babies – Damien Rice
“Accidental babies” was never anything I [or he] had to worry about. The first 16-years of our relationship were not sexual.
I know, I have led you to believe differently haven’t I? I mean I admitted to being, “the other woman” and all, but the truth is, those first 16-years we merely had a love affair. A meeting of the minds. An affair of the heart. It was strong. It was real and we were trying to be respectful. We were also scared. we snuck around to do little more than just be together.
It wasn’t about being naked…not then.
The last 2-years or so of the relationship however, everything changed. What had [for the most part] been a non-sexual relationship exploded into what I can only call the most amazing experience of my life…not just a sexual thing, I mean the RELATIONSHIP.
I was single, that’s my excuse even though it excuses nothing. He wasn’t single. We all got hurt. All three of us, probably none more than I.
End of story.
I say “end”, but if I’m being honest [and I am], it feels more like an intermission than an ending.
This song wasn’t around until the later half of this relationship. While listening to the deeper cuts on the then new Damien Rice CD, I stumbled across this and sat with tears silently rolling down my cheeks. The deeper meaning of the song was about not settling and not letting more time pass and become more locked into what you are not happy with.
It is an amazing song, right or wrong and you should listen…
What’s Your Favorite “Cheating” Song?
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Norah Jones is a singer that I haven’t had much exposure with and I don’t know why I haven’t looked at her more closely. I love her voice, both in the one you posted and the other song I know of hers, Come Away With Me.
Norah is an amazing talent. her father was the best Sitar player in the world IMHO. When Norah sings, she looks effortless, and her voice is so incredible.
Damien Rice is incredible. Wow to having a relationship for 16 years that wasn’t sexual. You must have had a really intense bond. I’d love to hear more of the story when you’re ready to write about it!
Thank you. Funny, I was cringing for YOU to read my post. I figured if anyone was gonna give me flack it was going to be you…seriously LOL. Sorry I judged!! Yes, the bond is something that I will never get over and I should tell my story…even he suggested that a few times although I know that if/when i do, it will be uncomfortable for him (and her) and of course myself. I think we have all had more than our share of heartache.
Like the norah jones and Damien rice
good list cheri
Thanks Lance 🙂 … I remember when I first heard Damien Rice. I came across “Volcano” before it was getting any radio play (I worked in radio at the time). Anyhow, I heard the song and saw the video, all acoustic in black and white. I fell in love with Lisa Hannigan’s vocal. Her voice is really sweet and interesting to me (as an aside, I haven’t really liked any of her solo stuff). Of course i loved Damien as well and I ended up being the first biggest official fan of the band. The talent is extreme and lyrically wow. I find I like man artists from Ireland and Scotland and the likes.
Wow. The story you’re telling is amazing and powerful. The song choices are great. Norah Jones has some amazing songs.
Yes I am a HUGE Norah Jones fan. Thanks Nikki, this is a hard story. I couldn’t not address it when I saw the prompt for this week so here we are..
yow! way to write a powerful TMT Post there… talk about enhanced narrative. liked the music, some new some not so new (to me). but as a story v cool
Thanks Clark. It was hard to push “publish” actually…I figured everyone reading would simply judge me harshly and move on. It is a powerful story…
Wow, what an amazing story and how you wove the songs into it. Really powerful. Thank you so much for telling your story and playing along this week again!
Thank you and thanks for having me Jen.
You need not worry: you aren’t being judged. You deserve appreciation instead for your honesty about the mistakes you made in your past. Who hasn’t committed them anyway? I myself had had an affair with a married man when I was in my early 20s. One of the biggest regrets of my life, I have to admit. Because, once again, it could only be us women (both the other woman and the wife) who lose the most in such a situation. A life lesson that pains me especially whenever I see other women go through the same experience.
Thank you!!! Truly!
I like Damien Rice. I have a UK issue copy of the soundtrack to Closer that is wonderful.
He is so amazing…I met him once 🙂
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