Cheri Speak

Are you listening?



When you are single — especially at my age, touch is the one thing that you have the least of in your life. You can be alone and have love; love of family, love of friends, etc, but the love of those same family and friends is not the tactile love of a squeeze on the shoulder, a hand laid upon your own, a caress on the cheek, an enveloping hug…

Juan Mann had it right about hugs and the need for them. His “Free Hugs” campaign was amazing. I think in the height of its phenomena it struck a chord with many. Hugs are an important aspect of being a human being.

I don’t mean a “there-there” pat on the back, rigid space between hug. Those hugs are fake, empty, meaningless. Not hugs at all.

I’m talking about real hugs where two people simply hold each other tightly with meaning.

There is something so reassuring, so validating in a hug. It cements your existence.

There is power in that. There is a rejuvenation of the spirit that takes place, a transfer of energy that is visceral, tangible.

You are real and so is your need to be acknowledged…and loved.

Without hugs, we are not we

…we is just me, alone and untouched.


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22 comments on “Untouched

  1. samara
    December 6, 2013

    I hug my son way too much, I’m sure. Soon he won’t let me. But he’s 10, so he still loves to cuddle with me. I figure I have maybe, 2 more years? If I’m lucky?

    I heard somewhere that babies with AIDS live longer if they are held. I wonder if that’s true.

    Your post touched me. If I was with you, I would give you a long, long hug.


    • Cheri
      December 6, 2013

      Thank you Samara. I could use one. 🙂
      I think ANYONE lives longer if they are held 😉
      My kids are not “kids” any more, but we are all still very huggy and even as adults — when we are together for a visit, they like to sleep with me. Sadly, they live in another state so I never see them. 😦
      Keep hugging and snuggling him.


  2. Cheri
    December 6, 2013

    Reblogged this on The Sexy Cynics.


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  6. Rose Red
    December 6, 2013

    Hugs from me too. I think I’m only just learning to give and receive hugs, I always found them really awkward (apart from with family), I think because of my large chest! Now I’m older and it’s more of a matronly bosom I feel OK about hugging people…but sometimes it’s so hard to bridge that gap, that polite distance between you and another person, even when you know they need a hug!


    • Cheri
      December 6, 2013

      Thank you.


    • Cheri
      December 7, 2013

      That was the best part of hugging my mom by the way…I called them her “pillows” 🙂 … I miss her.


      • Rose Red
        December 7, 2013

        ‘Pillows’ I like that! I bet you do miss her 😦
        Sending you virtual hugs, wish I could send a real one! x


      • Cheri
        December 7, 2013

        Thanks honey, much appreciated.


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  8. crookedeyebrows
    December 7, 2013

    Just loved reading it. Your presentation is so nice it touches everyone……..


    • Cheri
      December 7, 2013

      Thank you, it was very heartfelt.


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  13. Jaded Simplicity
    December 12, 2013

    This was an absolute pleasure to read, and so true. thank you for writing. looking forward to reading any future posts


    • Cheri
      December 13, 2013

      Thank you very much. I feel this every day.


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