Cheri Speak

Are you listening?

Why Can’t You Hear Me?


For anyone suffering from depression — whether it is bipolar related or not, it is a challenge to feel heard. In fact, most people who have experienced moderate to severe depression will tell you that,

No one listens, no one hears, no one cares…

These feelings are not our imagination and instead are brought on because people no longer take the time to truly listen and those few that give us a momentary ear would rather hear themselves speak and opine on our problem than just listen, which is all we asked for.

The anxiety that comes with being unheard is immense. The one thing someone who is depressed needs most is a loving or friendly, non-judgmental ear. We are not seeking your uneducated advice regardless of how much heart you may feel is in your words.

How can you advise on something you refuse to understand? Your advice is often like telling someone with a broken foot to go for a walk. How much sense does that make?

None, zero, zip yet because you cannot see our “broken foot” you still expect us to “walk” and when we don’t or can’t you judge us and think us weak, crybabies or worse less than a human being. Certainly not anyone you want to be around, but guess what? That feeling is mutual. We don’t want to be around you either which is why many people suffering with depression hermitize and avoid other people.

Your advice is killing us. Your ear could save us…


18 comments on “Why Can’t You Hear Me?

  1. The Presents of Presence
    December 9, 2013

    Beautiful post and good reminder. Thank you.


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  11. crookedeyebrows
    December 10, 2013

    Good reminder. ………It is true that listening is more then half of conversation.


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  13. Henrietta Handy
    December 10, 2013

    Re-blogged this on because this message really needs to get out there. Thank you for posting this.


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Now it's my turn to listen...

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