46 Things I Didn’t Expect At 46

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Today I turned 46-years-old. GASP, this means I am now officially closer to 50 than 40. In honor of my 46th Birthday, I present to you, “46 Things I Didn’t Expect At 46″…

1. I didn’t expect my Mom would be gone.
2. I didn’t expect to miss my Mom as much as I do.
3. I didn’t expect to be a grandma.
4. I didn’t expect to be single.
5. I didn’t expect to rent “rooms” over houses or apartments.
6. I didn’t expect I would have left corporate media.
7. I didn’t expect I would marry twice.
8. I (at times) didn’t expect to be alive.
9. I didn’t expect to ever say, “I have Bipolar“.
10. I didn’t expect to still [or again] be living in California.
11. I didn’t expect to be an activist.
12. I didn’t expect to be an activist still.
13. I didn’t expect I would not have published a book by now.
14. I didn’t expect to have written an entire non-fiction book and never attempt to publish it.
15. I didn’t expect to encounter what I encountered that propelled me write the book.
16. I didn’t expect the horror of September 11th.
17. I didn’t expect to discover the government was involved in the attacks on September 11th. Ask me about building 7…
18. I didn’t expect we would not have flying cars by now.
19. I didn’t expect to go off and then back on “the grid”.
20. I didn’t expect to meet some of the amazing intellectuals, scholars, artists and musicians that I have met.
21. I didn’t expect to be a radio DJ.
22. I didn’t expect to officially write about the death of investigative journalists Michael Hastings or  Michael C. Ruppert.
23. I didn’t expect to be so far from my adult children geographically.
24. I didn’t expect to fall in love with a married man nor did I expect that love to last nearly two-decades.
25. I didn’t expect the reality of technology nor the pace at which it evolves.
26. I didn’t expect the sudden and extreme rudeness that the Internet and technology have played a part in encouraging.
27. I didn’t expect my Government would spy on me.
28. I didn’t think our country’s citizen’s would be so vehemently divided.
29. I didn’t expect to have experienced 2 separate earthquakes over 7.0 in one day.
30. I didn’t expect to bear witness and report on one of the largest wildfires in California history.
31. I didn’t expect to lose some of the friends I have lost.
32. I didn’t expect to find friendship in some ways that I have.
33. I didn’t expect I would be introduced and immersed in an odd fetish related marriage.
34. I didn’t expect my journal would become an online living breathing thing for the world to see.
35. I didn’t expect to have traveled to DC and NY.
36. I didn’t expect to have never stepped foot off of American soil.
37. I didn’t expect to still have an overbite.
38. I didn’t expect there to be nothing in Al Capone’s Vaults when Geraldo Rivera strung me along as a teenager, night after night.
39. I didn’t expect to witness Geraldo Rivera and Shepard Smith to flip out and go against the company line during live coverage of Hurricane Katrina’s aftermath.
40. I didn’t expect to see a near naked Geraldo Rivera on twitter.
41. I didn’t expect to have conversations about a President getting a blow job.
42. I didn’t expect little blue dresses to forever make me think of blow jobs.
43. I didn’t expect to learn about a history and culture rich in drugs, slavery and murder.
44. I didn’t expect to ever feel weird or uncomfortable about being part Middle Eastern.
45. I didn’t expect sex to become such a casual thing.
46. I didn’t expect life…to be so fucking hard.

There are many more things, “I didn’t expect”, but for now I will stick with the 46….by the way, one thing I DID expect, since I was a child, weed is now legal in 2 states with more to follow. How about you, what didn’t you expect? Or, better yet, what DO you expect in the next 5-years?