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It’s a Wrap; When “Mommy” turns into “Mom”

Heart BalloonWhat a cathartic and amazing year 2012 has been for me. So many things have touched me in so many ways I could write an entire book, but fear not I shall not bore you with the minor details and instead will share how I am wrapping up my year and the positives I have gained that will enable me to enter the New Year in a new role.

Being the mother of three amazing kids the name I have been most often called in my life is “Mommy” or some  form of the same. “Cheri” was a name I heard rarely except in reference to some other “Cheri”, “Shari”, “Sherry”, and so on. In fact, thinking on this now I have probably been mistakenly called “Cheryl”, “Chris”, and even “Cherry” more so than my own name because of the spelling, but I digress.

Being a “Mommy” was the job I loved most in my career and for the past several years, as my children became adults, I stood on the edge of that cliff between “Mommy” and just  “Mom”.

I lost my own Mother a little more than a year ago so I was already having a bit of an identity crisis. I have felt un-tethered from my “rock” with her passing and have floated around in a sky with no direction and little grace. Up was down and down was up, with each cloud something merely to observe and sometimes admire, but most often found in the shape of a question mark asking “Who am I?”.

I lost my direction when I lost that feeling of belonging to someone in some way. The feeling of being needed is like a drug and as my own children went about their lives without my guidance it was slowly eating me up inside. Not because I did not want them to be efficient without me, I just wanted to be a part of the process like I always had been.

This year has shown me that although my Mother is gone the “rock” is still there by way of the foundation of love she laid for me and my brother. This year has also shown that although my career as “Mommy”  ended in a promotion to “Mom” it didn’t mean I was not needed, valued, or loved. I have watched my children become true adults through graduations, marriages, and other life changing events and I was given a new purpose this year and a new name. I am “Grandma” now and I am needed, wanted, and loved.

How would you wrap up your 2012?

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10 comments on “It’s a Wrap; When “Mommy” turns into “Mom”

  1. Grandmas’s are the best! What a new special joy you have in your life. Thank you for sharing as you know how I was struggling with the mom graduation…my little guys are still young, but growing up faster than I can handle. It means a lot to know I will be loved and wanted regardless of their age!

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    • C. R.
      December 17, 2012

      That whole “empty nest” thing is real, unfortunately for me I went through a divorce and lost my mom during the transition so it was devastating for me. I am glad you appreciated what i wrote and I am glad that it gives you hope in the knowledge your “job” may end but the need of you does not. Thank you for reading!!

      Like

  2. Corner of Confessions
    December 17, 2012

    Aw Cheri. I must say through your trails and transitions you seemed to fare better than most and that positivity is inspiring. Through here on wordpress feel free to “adopt” us to fluff up your nest whenever you feel the need. I’m going through the transition to adulthood and i don’t wannaaaa wahhhh. Lol.

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    • C. R.
      December 17, 2012

      Thank you. Tash?
      I still struggle. With death, with life, with transition. I struggle with my mind because that is where it all lives, but I know my heart will always be full.
      Adulthood? helly I am still super young at heart LOL and I like it that way. It made me a “cool” Mom (that and having once been a radio dj) and it will make me a cool Grandma…I hope.

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  3. tfaswift
    December 20, 2012

    That’s such a beautiful post, Cheri. The cycle of life. Somehow it seems designed to hurt like hell and yet there are those precious blessings, new life, a grandchild, which restore the balance. You are now the rock, the Mother. It must be strange hearing the transition from “mommy” to “mom”. And they probably won’t even remember when that change just naturally happened, but you will never forget it.

    Oh my goodness, you will always be valued and needed. I know it may not feel like that sometimes as your kids are grown up, but I think everyone wishes their mum or dad could be around for their whole life, even if it’s just for those occasions when nobody else will do.

    Lovely wrap up for 2012. 🙂

    Like

    • C. R.
      December 20, 2012

      Thank you Tilda. I appreciate that. I love my kids very much and of course I am crazy about my lil grand guy. I am lucky that I have a good relationship with my kids, many people do not have that.

      Like

  4. ghazmat
    December 24, 2012

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Cheri! Or Happy Holiday, if you prefer, I don’t know. Anyway, have a good time. 🙂 (I am Tilda’s husband in case you don’t notice or remember that …)

    Like

    • C. R.
      December 24, 2012

      Thank you very much. Merry Christmas to both you and Tilda!!!

      Like

  5. Pingback: 46 Things I Didn’t Expect By 46 | Cheri Speak

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